It's a boy!

I once said that the story of my new baby’s birth could be the most exciting blog post of all time. I am very happy to report that it may not be true. Do not stop reading though because it was an amazing experience with an interesting twist.

I went into labor in the usual way. Nothing special, just back pain and contractions that were a few minutes apart and painful. It was morning so we showered, Abu and Sara had breakfast and we left Sara with her grandparents as we went off to United Hospital about 10 minutes away. It was a Tuesday morning so it should have been a school day and very bad traffic but fortunately, it was also a hartal so we made it to the hospital pretty quickly. The doctor told me to check in at the ER so we did and realized that we, once again, left all our paperwork at home. I wanted Abu to stay with me so we sent our very helpful driver, Aziz, to get the paperwork. We are very lucky that the strike was going on or all that would have taken a lot longer.

The contractions had been going on regularly since the day before but got more serious around 3 am so I thought I would be fairly well along by the time I was admitted to labor and delivery. I was only 1.5 cm dilated at 11 am. I need to get to 10 cm in order to deliver. Abu wanted us to check out, go across the street to his aunt and uncle’s house, and wait there. The doctor advised against it (and I was not feeling much up for that either) because she thought things were going to progress quickly. The doctor suggested instead that we go to our “cabin” and I can walk around and be more comfortable there.  Our cabin was great. As I mentioned before there are four levels of private rooms. The first two levels of rooms were all full so we took the “luxury suite.” The VIP single seemed like it may have been too much. It was very comfortable. We only got to spend about an hour in our suite before my water broke in a big gush and we were wisked off to the labor observation room again. I was checked again and I was still only 3 cm. My water broke at 1 pm and I remained in labor with no medicine until 5:30 pm when I was still 3 cm and I decided I was too tired and sore to continue in this way without progressing. To be honest, I was scared. I was in labor with Sara for so long that I needed to make things happen or I would have had to have a c-section and the epidural was so good, it took all the pain away. I could feel pressure of contractions but not pain. Because of this, I was very scared of the pain of the baby coming out. I got the epidural around 7:30 pm and was at 4 cm after. The epidural did not seem to be working that well. Everything still hurt a lot but I guess it did take the edge off the pain.   

A funny thing about being a patient when you do not speak the language is that people do not really explain what they are doing or who they are. I had a lot of different nurses and doctors. Nurses would come in and say that they are going to give me a medicine but no one ever told me what it was. As soon as my water broke, some nurse showed up with a pain medicine that I promptly refused. The nurse, or “sister” as nurses are called here, looked quite confused by my refusal and said, “But the doctor ordered it!” With each medicine, a nurse brought me and I refused, I said, “the doctor did not ask me if I wanted it!” After refusing induction medications and pain medications about a half dozen times from the nurses a doctor came in and tried to talk me into it. “My” doctor seemed to be on the same page as me about what I wanted to do but she was not on duty. She stopped in a few times to check on me but otherwise left me with another doctor, who seemed very nice but she was very pushy about medications. This other doctor seemed very pleased when I finally consented to medication to help dilate my cervix and the epidural.

One of the labor observation rooms.

Our Luxury Suite

Another view of our suite

After the epidural and another check (4 cm), I was hooked up to a monitor to see how the baby’s heart rate was doing during contractions. This test lasts 20 minutes. One of the reasons I did not want an epidural was because I was afraid it would slow the contractions and I would have to have more meds to speed them back up. During the 20-minute test, it seemed my fear was confirmed. I only had four contractions and they were not very strong. During the test the pushy doctor finished her shift and introduced me to the new doctor that would take over. They left my room about 5 minutes before the test ended to do rounds. Just as the monitor beeped to indicate the test was done, a contraction started. I remember being disappointed that the test was not still running because it was a big one and I was wondering what number it would reach on the monitor.  Usually the contractions would last 40 seconds to a minute. After about 40 seconds to a minute of the worst pain I have ever felt, epidural or not, I started yelling, “make it stop, why won’t it stop?”  It did not stop. As it passed the minute and a half to two-minute mark, I felt the urge to push. The doctor had told me not to push so many times so I tried not to but there was no helping it. At this point, I remembered, and ignored, my promise to Abu not to scream. I also remember screaming for two reasons. One was that it hurt and the other was because Abu was the only one in the room and I was about to have a baby. I was yelling, “I have to push! I have to push!” Then a second later, “The baby is coming! The baby is here!” I could not see Abu, my back was to him but I could tell he wasn't understanding the gravity of the situation so I ripped the sheet off of me to reveal that my small push had pushed out the head. Abu then yelled, “HOLY #*%^!” (Add your own curse word because I do not remember which he picked.) and he literally ran from the room searching for a doctor. Sam slid out of me very smoothly and my fear of what it would feel like seemed like a silly thing of the past because it was the most amazing feeling in the world. All at once, the pain stopped and I had a beautiful baby boy lying on the bed in front of me. The I tried to look for the cord but I could not seem to find it and then it occurred to me I did not know if he was a boy or girl so as the nurse ran in, yelling at me to be calm, I checked and announced to no one in particular, “It’s a boy!”

In the moments I had alone with Sam, before they took him away, I sat up and looked at him while I rubbed his back and legs. The memories I have of it are blurry and I couldn't figure out why until later when they returned him to me all clean and wrapped (I wanted my skin to skin time and to wait on the bath but no one listened as I asked for him, they just kept telling me he was fine). My blood pressure bottomed out a bit after he was born so I could not see clearly up close. I did not really see him until about an hour later. I also lost muscle strength in my right leg for a while which would have been amusing if it was not for the nurse who literally pushed me into the bathroom. I nearly hit the floor.

There are a million other little details and I could go on but that is the gist of the story. I delivered my own baby and it was amazing. Truly an amazing experience.  Samiul Taher Alam was born around 8:15 on March 12.

We stayed in the hospital for 24 hours after the birth, Sam was circumcised, and we are both healing well. Sara is very excited to be a big sister and is eager to be as helpful as possible.

Thank you for all the love and well wishes!

Proud Baba!

Our wonderful Sam!

I love this little man!

Sara holding Sam for the first time

Cuddle time

Dadu, Dadi, Sara, and Sam

First night at home. He looks a lot like Sara did in this picture.

More Pictures

I said my next post would be about a new baby but I figured, everyone likes photos...

It looks to me that the buses here are made from paper mache. Obviously, they are not. The outsides are so banged up and patched so many times that it seems to me that they are paper. Usually, there are big cracks in the windshields as well. People cram onto these buses with standing room only or even hang on with half of themselves out the door. If there is a back bumper people will ride on the back too. If traffic is not stopped at the intersection where you want to get off the bus often does not stop but just slows so people can jump off and on. I have not figured out how anyone can figure out the bus routes. Maybe if the bus is pointing in the direction you want to go you get on and ride until it starts going the wrong way.

This view is from Abu's cousin's house. Parts of Dhaka are in the background. The water is highly polluted. On the shore of the river is a large shanty town. Boats follow a rope trail across the water but I am not sure for what purpose they go back and forth. 

This is my in-laws' full time maid, cooking in the kitchen.

A random street. The lack of traffic suggests that I took this picture on a Friday or a Holiday.

These kids are selling the towels. There was a parent selling stuff somewhere near by. When traffic stops they run between the cars, window to window, trying to beg money or sell a towel. When they saw me they came over and spent a few minutes just waving and smiling at me. They were picking on each other too. They were pushing and pulling, both trying to be the one to get more attention (or money) from me. As the traffic started to move they expertly weaved through the moving cars back to their spot on the curb to wait until traffic stopped again. 

This is a bridge that is on the way to Sara's school. If it were not for the polluted waters, ground and air it would be quite picturesque. The cars must share the road with the rickshaws. On this bridge, rickshaws often go against traffic which can cause further congestion.  

In an attempt to improve the traffic congestion a "fly-over" is being built near the airport. Funding issues have delayed the work many times.

I believe this is a side street near Sara's school. 

People carry so many different things on their heads. I wonder how their necks handle the pressure. Although, it does seem like they can carry more on their head with better posture than they could in their arms.

It is an election year in Bangladesh and this truck load of people seemed to be loading up to go protest in a different part of the city.

Winter is wedding season. This is a stage where the bride and groom sit throughout one of the parties. 

Me and my hubby celebrating his cousin's wedding.

The henna party for the wedding.

Sara celebrating Valentines day. The hat and the flag came from school. 

This is on the roof. The black things are water tanks. The tanks are always full unless the power is out and we happen to use a lot of water while the power is out. Once the power comes back, the city water fills the tanks again. Each flat has their own water tank. While the sun is out the water gets quite warm in the tanks. 

As Abu grew up here they had metal water tanks with flat tops and he used to play train on them with his brothers. Sara enjoys the game too but the new tanks are harder to climb on top of. 

The kids carnival. 

Pre-baby Update

I am happy to report a much better experience at United Hospital. The building and facilities are comparable to a hospital in Minnesota. I was not able to see the delivery room because it was in use. I joked that we should see anyway so I can get the full experience of it but that did not go over very well.  The nursery looked good and the patient rooms are just as expected. There are a few “levels” of room options ranging from a shared room, single room, and VIP level. The room choice is not down to space in the hospital, but to how much money you want to pay.

The doctor we saw I have been describing as “intense.” She has a no-nonsense feeling to her. The plus side to this being my second child is that I know she will only be around long enough to deliver the baby and it is the nurses that I’ll be spending more time with and that I have no control over who they are. I hope that they will speak English well enough to communicate with me. I also hope that I like the food.

 If someone would have asked me just a few days ago if I am ready to have this baby I would have wanted to shout, “NO!” Perhaps even put myself into a bit of a panic thinking about how much we are not ready for this baby and how scared I am about the pain and other difficulties that come with labor. After a night of steady, painful contractions followed by days of utter exhaustion, I can say that this baby can come whenever s/he is ready, and soon is ok with me. I remember the same feeling with Sara. I believe that this is nature’s way of preparing a woman for labor.

We moved into our own flat a bit over a week ago. We are two floors down from my in-laws flat. The setup is the same, with a few minor differences. I am eager to make my own home here and little by little, we will accumulate all the stuff a house needs to make it a home. Our new home has three bedrooms and three bathrooms. The master bedroom, with attached bath, shares a balcony and a door with Sara’s new room, which is the smallest bedroom. The smallest bedroom is still larger than an average room in Minnesota. I was told the total space is 3000 square feet.  The guest bedroom is on the opposite side of the flat and very large. This room is the same layout as the one the three of us shared while living upstairs. There is an attached bath and balcony in the guest room. We also have a very large sitting room, large dining room and a normal sized kitchen. The dining room and kitchen is the biggest difference in the layout from upstairs. Abu’s uncle, when he lived here prior to moving to the US, valued a larger dining room and gave up kitchen space to get it. I share his ideas about this and look forward to cooking for my family and serving a meal in a spacious dining room. Plus it will give the baby more space to throw food as s/he learns to eat.

My brother just came for a short four-day visit after he spent some time in India for work. We had a nice visit and I am glad that he got to see a small part of my life on this side of the planet. He also brought me a suitcase stuffed full of baby stuff that I saved from Sara along with some new things that I asked for. My mom is coming March 20; I am very excited to see her after nearly five months. I get mom for two and a half weeks. I hope to be able to spend quality time with her at home as well as get out and show her the craziness of Dhaka and shop some awesome fabric shops.

The baby is due March 22. Part of me hopes that mom will be here for the birth, as she was with me when Sara was born, and a part of me cannot stand the thought of waiting another 3 weeks to deliver. I guess it is a good thing that it is not up to me! This pregnancy has been so different from my first that I cannot guess what will happen next.

I am very much looking forward to the experience of giving birth here. Not to say that I am not nervous about it but I believe that all will be well and I am sure that I will get a great story out of it. The next adventure will be learning to take care of a new baby here.  

Stay tuned… the next blog should be a good one.