Fasting is not exclusive to Islam, the big three, Hinduism, Buddhism,
and many others all have some sort of fasting ritual. Fasting for Ramadan is
probably the most well known fast because so many people around the world take
part. Ramadan goes according to the Islamic calendar so it is about a week
after Ramadan the prior year and lasts 29 or 30 days, depending on the new moon
sightings. From the first day until the last, a person will not eat or drink
while the sun is out. They also should not do “sinful” behavior, like swearing,
fighting, etc. The mosques, and plenty of internet sites, have calendars with
the specific prayer times and sunrise and sunset times. Fasting is required for
all Muslims unless they are sick, pregnant, menstruating, diabetic, travelling,
or breastfeeding.
I did not want to fast. I love to eat and I am not a huge
fan of being hungry, it makes me crabby. My in-laws did not request or require
me to fast. My husband (sort of) requested that I do fast and honestly, it
caused a bit of an argument. In the end it was the fact that I am overly
stubborn that drove me to fast on that first day. As the days went by, I had to
come up with more, better reasons, why I was choosing to do this. A big part
remained as me just being stubborn. I could not believe that I was not able to
do something that so many others are able to do each year and actually look
forward to it.
Another large reason I continued to fast was that it made
everyone very happy, the maids, my in-laws, my husband, they were all happy
that I was fasting. As a people pleaser, that is huge for me because it also
made me happy. I enjoyed joining the family in Iftar (breaking of the fast) in
the evening, all of us in the same hungry and thirsty boat. It was a nice time
to spend together, on the few days I did not fast I felt like I almost did not
belong, not because of anything others said but because of my own feelings, because
this snack/meal is for the hungry, which was not me.
I also thought that Ramadan could be a good time to kick
start my healthy food lifestyle change. (I do not want to call it a diet
because “diet” sounds restrictive and that is not the mindset I want to have.)
I weighed myself at the beginning of Ramadan and figured I would lose weight. The
Iftar meal/snack is different in different cultures and families. It usually
includes dates, sweets, deep fried stuff, a snack made from chickpeas, some veggies.
All in all, it is not really health food. After Iftar, I would feed Sam, have
some coffee and biscuits (read cookies), give Sara dinner, get the kids to
sleep, eat dinner myself, read or watch TV, have a snack, stay up way too late,
have more food around three in the morning, brush my teeth, go to sleep, wake
up around 9 or 10 and fast until about seven in the evening. I weighed myself
again after Eid (the holiday that marks the end of Ramadan) and I was up two
pounds. I cannot say that I am surprised. The fasting caused my metabolism to
hit the floor.
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| Preparing for Iftar |
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| Setting the table (2013) |
Each day as I fasted I would think that this is insane, why
are we doing this to ourselves? I am hungry, I could sneak food, I am thirsty, and
no one would know if I had a little water but that is when my stubbornness
would kick in and – most of the time – I would resist the temptation.
On a few days, I would go to work and paint, which was
exhausting. Many hours spent on my feet, trying to hold my hand steady. The
director of the school smokes and combine the second hand smoke with the hunger
and I swear, the only thing keeping me up was the sheer force of my will. After
the day spent painting, I would catch a rickshaw to the Club to get milk and
then home, on those days I could see the importance of food and water more than
other days. On one particular day I went swimming. I did not work hard, I just
enjoyed the feeling of the water, but by the time Iftar came round I think I
gulped about a gallon of water in one go. To insure I was getting enough water,
which I need a lot, I would drink about two liters in the hour after Iftar,
about the same with dinner, and again with the “meal” at 3AM. One day, we were
out of water (we cannot drink from the tap, there is an elaborate process to
get drinking water which I can talk about later) and I nearly started crying.
Sakib quickly ran out and got us some bottled water, smart man. I was more
careful about preparing water after that.
Each day around 6PM I would go upstairs to my in-laws house
and help with the final prep for Iftar. I would mix things, set the table, divvy
out the food and juice, and do anything else my mother-in-law needed. This
became my favorite part of the day. I loved having something to do that helped
my mother-in-law and contributed to the family, no matter how small of a thing
it was. My MIL and I would chat, which was nice, and then the whole family
would sit, Sam and Sara too, and enjoy the food together. After eating,
everyone, except the kids and me, would go to the bedroom for a short prayer
and I would clear the table. Now that Ramadan is over, I miss having the reason
to come together and share our time.
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| Enjoying Iftar (last year, 2013) |
Sara, at some point, asked why it was we were fasting. My
brother-in-law told her that one of the reasons is so we can understand the
poor people’s hunger better. On the final day of Ramadan, Sara asked me if I
understood what it was like to be poor now. I said that to some extent, I
understand hunger better but because I had food in the fridge and I know that
there is a big meal waiting for me when the sun goes down, I cannot truly
understand what it is like to be starving, but I can imagine better now. In the
first few days and in the last, I felt why we say, “hunger pains” it really
does hurt to be so hungry.
The last month has proven to me that I get to choose what I
eat or do not eat, even if it hurts. In light of that, I have decided to ride
the momentum of Ramadan and give up my sugar addition. I do not look forward to
fasting next year but I do look forward to the way the family comes together
and shares our time.
Eid Mubarak!
