Fasting for Ramadan, as told by a Christian

Fasting is not exclusive to Islam, the big three, Hinduism, Buddhism, and many others all have some sort of fasting ritual. Fasting for Ramadan is probably the most well known fast because so many people around the world take part. Ramadan goes according to the Islamic calendar so it is about a week after Ramadan the prior year and lasts 29 or 30 days, depending on the new moon sightings. From the first day until the last, a person will not eat or drink while the sun is out. They also should not do “sinful” behavior, like swearing, fighting, etc. The mosques, and plenty of internet sites, have calendars with the specific prayer times and sunrise and sunset times. Fasting is required for all Muslims unless they are sick, pregnant, menstruating, diabetic, travelling, or breastfeeding.

I did not want to fast. I love to eat and I am not a huge fan of being hungry, it makes me crabby. My in-laws did not request or require me to fast. My husband (sort of) requested that I do fast and honestly, it caused a bit of an argument. In the end it was the fact that I am overly stubborn that drove me to fast on that first day. As the days went by, I had to come up with more, better reasons, why I was choosing to do this. A big part remained as me just being stubborn. I could not believe that I was not able to do something that so many others are able to do each year and actually look forward to it.

Another large reason I continued to fast was that it made everyone very happy, the maids, my in-laws, my husband, they were all happy that I was fasting. As a people pleaser, that is huge for me because it also made me happy. I enjoyed joining the family in Iftar (breaking of the fast) in the evening, all of us in the same hungry and thirsty boat. It was a nice time to spend together, on the few days I did not fast I felt like I almost did not belong, not because of anything others said but because of my own feelings, because this snack/meal is for the hungry, which was not me.

I also thought that Ramadan could be a good time to kick start my healthy food lifestyle change. (I do not want to call it a diet because “diet” sounds restrictive and that is not the mindset I want to have.) I weighed myself at the beginning of Ramadan and figured I would lose weight. The Iftar meal/snack is different in different cultures and families. It usually includes dates, sweets, deep fried stuff, a snack made from chickpeas, some veggies. All in all, it is not really health food. After Iftar, I would feed Sam, have some coffee and biscuits (read cookies), give Sara dinner, get the kids to sleep, eat dinner myself, read or watch TV, have a snack, stay up way too late, have more food around three in the morning, brush my teeth, go to sleep, wake up around 9 or 10 and fast until about seven in the evening. I weighed myself again after Eid (the holiday that marks the end of Ramadan) and I was up two pounds. I cannot say that I am surprised. The fasting caused my metabolism to hit the floor.

Preparing for Iftar 

Setting the table (2013)

Each day as I fasted I would think that this is insane, why are we doing this to ourselves? I am hungry, I could sneak food, I am thirsty, and no one would know if I had a little water but that is when my stubbornness would kick in and – most of the time – I would resist the temptation.

On a few days, I would go to work and paint, which was exhausting. Many hours spent on my feet, trying to hold my hand steady. The director of the school smokes and combine the second hand smoke with the hunger and I swear, the only thing keeping me up was the sheer force of my will. After the day spent painting, I would catch a rickshaw to the Club to get milk and then home, on those days I could see the importance of food and water more than other days. On one particular day I went swimming. I did not work hard, I just enjoyed the feeling of the water, but by the time Iftar came round I think I gulped about a gallon of water in one go. To insure I was getting enough water, which I need a lot, I would drink about two liters in the hour after Iftar, about the same with dinner, and again with the “meal” at 3AM. One day, we were out of water (we cannot drink from the tap, there is an elaborate process to get drinking water which I can talk about later) and I nearly started crying. Sakib quickly ran out and got us some bottled water, smart man. I was more careful about preparing water after that.

Each day around 6PM I would go upstairs to my in-laws house and help with the final prep for Iftar. I would mix things, set the table, divvy out the food and juice, and do anything else my mother-in-law needed. This became my favorite part of the day. I loved having something to do that helped my mother-in-law and contributed to the family, no matter how small of a thing it was. My MIL and I would chat, which was nice, and then the whole family would sit, Sam and Sara too, and enjoy the food together. After eating, everyone, except the kids and me, would go to the bedroom for a short prayer and I would clear the table. Now that Ramadan is over, I miss having the reason to come together and share our time.

Enjoying Iftar (last year, 2013) 

Sara, at some point, asked why it was we were fasting. My brother-in-law told her that one of the reasons is so we can understand the poor people’s hunger better. On the final day of Ramadan, Sara asked me if I understood what it was like to be poor now. I said that to some extent, I understand hunger better but because I had food in the fridge and I know that there is a big meal waiting for me when the sun goes down, I cannot truly understand what it is like to be starving, but I can imagine better now. In the first few days and in the last, I felt why we say, “hunger pains” it really does hurt to be so hungry.

The last month has proven to me that I get to choose what I eat or do not eat, even if it hurts. In light of that, I have decided to ride the momentum of Ramadan and give up my sugar addition. I do not look forward to fasting next year but I do look forward to the way the family comes together and shares our time.

Eid Mubarak!