A bit about Language.

In a blog post weeks ago, I ended by saying that I was going to write about language in an upcoming blog. My desire to write about language and knowing what to say were not quite meshing until recently, I think I may have found a way to explain some of my thoughts. I may write more on this topic again later. 

My auditory sensation is working wonderfully, so I cannot be certain, but I think that it is fair to say that moving to a country where you only understand enough of the language to understand the context of a situation (in a normal voice, not yelling or whispering) is like having lost most of your hearing. I feel that I am slowly (very, very, slowly) getting some back as I learn more of the language (hopefully I learn Bengali before I actually start losing my hearing). I have decided that they are similar because I have seen this with my grandma and other people, generally older, who are losing their hearing. Like I did, they start out by saying “what” a lot and it does not take long to tire from asking “what” so they quietly, lean forward trying to grasp at the important parts of the conversation. Eventually, even that gets to be too much so they sit back, relax, and pretend to have the correct emotions, if the need arises, but often end up day-dreaming about how no one knew that Captain Adora  of the Horde and She-Ra the Princess of Power are the same person, she does not even change her clothes for goodness sake! At least He-Man changes from shirt and pants to furry undies and a chest plate. She-Ra’s mask is a worse disguise than Superman’s glasses, or lack thereof. I usually try to avoid the daydreaming state not only because of the odd things that enter my mind but also because it does not help me to learn.

Before Begum left our employment, because she missed her family too much, she and I used to be home alone during the day together. Right before she left she started coming into my room and showing me an item, like an onion, then she would tell me the Bengali name for it. If I did not pronounce it correctly or if I forgot as she was quizzing me, after a few more items, she would come very close to me, her eyes would get super big and she would yell the word. This yelling happened a lot. Sometimes, I had to use all my will power not to roll on the floor laughing. Her intensity in wanting me to say the word correctly, and remember it, was enough to burn those few words into my brain. This reminded me of all the times at work, registering a patient and someone else, usually a doctor or nurse, would come into the room and yell slow English at someone who does not speak English. I would usually get out of the room, with a quick wave to the patient, as quick as possible in complete bewilderment of the situation. Now that I am on the other side of the situation, it is even more baffling. Begum was also funny because she thought if I repeated a word to her it meant that I understood it, when, in fact, I meant that I did not understand (I also used a confused look and a shoulder shrug).  One day a few weeks ago this type of confusion started with me itching a mosquito bite and ended with me getting an hour long leg massage because she thought I had a sore leg and was asking if I liked the massage and I did not understand so the confused repeating  came into play.  When the whole family came home and she was still massaging my leg, I was so embarrassed and hoped they did not think I asked her to do it! Both of our stories as to what lead to the massage were very different and both very funny to my family and me!  I miss Begum and the way she helped me learn a few words of Bengali, even with the wide-eyed yelling.  

The part about not understanding and speaking Bengali that bothers me the most is that I do not want people to assume that I am uneducated or stupid, which I think is a common thought about non-English speakers in the US. I am lucky that a lot of Abu’s extended family, friends, and his parent’s friends speak English quite well. I am sure that little by little I will learn to understand better and be understood when I speak.