How I do it.

I don’t know how you do it!

This was the most common statement I heard about traveling alone with two young kids from one side of the planet to the other. I did it like you do anything, you just do it, come what may. After this travel experience, I figure I am qualified to write some “Do’s and Don’ts” about traveling.

Don’t wait to pack everything for the last minute.

Duh! I did wait. I had started putting our warm clothes into the suitcases about a month ahead of time and my husband teased me about it. I didn’t want to seem overly eager so I waited for the packing. True to my form, I waited too long and the evening before we were to leave, I was still gathering everything and making sure our suitcases were not over weight. I did better on the return trip (with prompting from my dear mother), I was ready to go the night before!

Do get in a good nap or nights rest before going.

Again, Duh. I didn’t do this because I was packing at the last minute. I finished the packing with an hour or two to spare and tried to rest but Sara was so excited that she would not sleep and I was only able to toss and turn for about a half hour before I gave it up and did final checks.  This went better for the return trip, seeing as my packing was done.

Do leave in the very early morning.

When I left for America, back in September, our flight left Dhaka at four in the morning. This means we had to be at the airport at two in the morning. This may sound foolish to keep a five year old up all night before traveling but the kid has to sleep eventually, so why not wait until you are on the plane?

Do keep laughing!

We made it to the airport and check in and it was time to say good-bye to Sakib for the next three months. It was a very hard thing to do and I get emotional still while writing about it. It was especially hard on Sara. It was two in the morning, she had not slept yet and she had a very emotional good-bye with her father. As you may guess, this lead to quite the meltdown.  After leaving him, we had to wait in a security check line and as we stood there she was wailing, “I miss my Baba! I want my Baba!” I tried all the normal mom things to comfort her, hugs, distraction, talking about her feelings, but the exhaustion was too much. I let her cry. I didn’t scold her or try to temper her feelings – they just had to come out. I stood there in line, with Sam in his stroller (looking rather confused by his big sisters cries) and had to laugh as her wails filled the small hallway. Everyone stared at us and I could only imagine them thinking that they do not wait to sit next to us! Nothing lasts forever and eventually she started getting distracted by her surroundings. It went something like this:

Sniffle-sniffle, “Mama, look!” She points to a signs around us with her best attempt at a smile, “those signs are purple, why are they all that color?”

She looks up at my sweetly and I take a moment to wipe her face before answering. “I imagine that that is the airlines color.”

Sniffle, “What do you mean, their color?”

I then explained a bit about how companies have colors and symbols to be easily recognized. It takes about a minute or two. Then I ask, “do you understand?”

She looks up at me and I see her eyes have filled with tears again and her little face is all scrunched up, “I want BABA!” Her cries last a minute or two and then, sniffle sniffle, “Mama, look at that lady, her bag is purple too!”

These drastic mood swings lasted through security until we were able to sit at the gate. Through all of it, I tried to smile and laugh to myself because it was either that or stress about it and I did not want to stress.

Do reserve the bulkhead in advance.

Do this on any flight, especially if you have kids with you or you are very tall. If you do not have a baby, you may be bumped for someone with a baby but it is worth the effort if you get it. The extra legroom makes it all worthwhile. The attendant hooked a bassinette to the wall once we were in flight and it was so nice to be able to put Sam down to sleep.

Don’t sit for the whole flight.

When we flew to Bangladesh the first time it was a terrible experience and we swore we would never sit on a plane for fifteen hours again. I was so excited to visit home I would have taken a slow boat over the ocean, sitting the whole way. This time, with Sam, he woke up about every thirty to sixty minutes, which meant that I was standing often to get him in or out of the bassinette. I also spent some time standing and rocking him. All the standing and moving was great and when I got off the flight I did not have the feeling of death warmed over, as I did last time.

Do keep your cool.

I slept when I could, ate all the food offered to me to keep up my energy, and did my best not to get frustrated. Sara refused to eat. The most I could get in her were sips of water, a cup of sprite, and a bread roll, and that was ok. She could eat when we got there. One day with nothing, as long as she is not hungry, will be ok. Sam was getting up a lot, he was nursing a lot, and that was ok. He wasn’t crying or all that fussy so I fed him, laid him down, and tried to sleep as much as possible before he woke me again. Sara not eating and Sam constantly eating probably would have bothered me at home but it had to be OK for the flight. They needed what they did and I needed to be OK with that.

Don’t over pack your carry-on.

General knowledge or advice is to bring your kids favorite book, stuffed animal, travel game, etc with you when you travel. I will never do that again. Everything in your carry-on you have to carry. I strapped Sam to myself while getting on and off the plane (until I get my stroller back from the gate check). I had a backpack filled to the brim (diapers, wipes, change of clothes for each kid, my kindle, toys for them both).  On the return trip, Sara had a backpack filled with stuff she didn’t touch that I had to carry, and my purse so I could reach the passports and tickets easily. All this had to have weighed about fifty pounds. My shoulders still have not recovered.

Do take a bigger plane, if you can.

Sara and Sam never had any trouble with their ears until we were on the smaller planes that took us from Chicago to Minneapolis and reverse. Sam was able to nurse so he was fine but poor Sara suffered through the flights because the smaller planes are not able to manage the pressure as well. We tried all sorts of tricks to help her but none worked.

Don’t forget your barf bag.

We made it fine on the trip from MN to Dhaka but on the return trip Sara vomited twice. The first time was right after we landed in Chicago. We were still in the plane, sitting in the last row, and the very kind attendant was able to give her a bag in time and then gave us some sodas for later.  The second time was after we landed in Dhaka. As we were packing to get off the plane and I was strapping Sam into his carrier, he grabbed the vomit bag out of the seat pocket. I didn’t bother to take it away because he was enjoying himself, waving it around. Sammy carried the bag through the airport and for about fifteen minutes while we waited in the customs line. Sara then announced she was not feeling well so I had Sam hand the bag over. Darn good thing too! I noticed later that someone, a few lines over had vomited on the floor. I will always travel with a barf bag from now on.

Happy travels!