A few ways I have changed.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Laozi

I imagine a person cannot spend a year in a totally different culture and not change at all. I did not notice some of the changes much until I went home to Minnesota for a visit.

The first, and most obvious, change has been physical. I was fifteen weeks pregnant when we moved here and very hungry. I ate a ton but Sam was taking all my calories. While I was pregnant, I watched my body slim down as my belly grew bigger. Through the whole pregnancy, I do not think I gained any weight. If I had started out thin then I may have worried about this but I had weight to burn and I was healthy so I just enjoyed eating a lot and still losing weight.  A week after Sam was born I was down fifteen more pounds (about 7 kg). I am now down about fifty pounds (23 kg) from my pre-pregnancy weight and eighty pounds (36 kg) down from my highest weight. I imagine there are multiple factors attributed to the weight loss but two main ones, first, the food here has less in it – less additives, less chemicals, less preservatives (although we do have to watch out for a formaldehyde mixture they treat fruits and veggies with as a preservative) and second, my meals here are structured. Each meal is at a certain time and I snack less between meals. I am sure the breastfeeding helps too.   

January 2011

July 2013

July 2013

June 2009

One change I did not notice until I left Bangladesh is that I am more willing to “put myself out there.” I would never really call myself shy but I would shy away from social situations. If I did not know anyone, except the host, at a party I usually would not go. If I could not arrive with someone, I would not go. Now, I do not know anyone. I often go to parties where I am the only white person and many people do not speak English well or at all. My in-laws are excellent at introductions and people are curious enough about me that they’ll come talk to me and I have grown so used to this that my prior nervousness is gone. I have also gotten to the point where I sometimes (at the smaller dinner parties) forget that I look different from everyone else. This may sound strange, I do not forget that I am white and they are brown, I forget that it matters, or that it is noticeable. I am just part of my husband’s family, I am my children’s mother, and they are friends or family – no different from in the US. Other times, at large weddings or out in public I am painfully aware that I am different but even that is getting easier to handle.

Me, my mother in law and some of her colleagues.

I am now bothered by waste. Especially plastic bags that are used once and thrown out. We all have cabinets that are stuffed full of Tupperware that can be easily thrown into the dishwasher so why not use it?

I want to look good when I go out. Honestly, I used to not really care and sometimes, as a mother to young kids, there are times when I cannot manage to put in the extra effort when going to the park or the grocery store still. I am noticed here as different, I know I do not blend in and because of that, I want to look nice, not for them, for me.

I am more open about my opinions. I often am asked for my opinion about many things, from religion to US politics to celebrity news. I have always tried to be informed but now I am more diligent about finding my opinions on those issues and voicing those opinions instead of regurgitating what I heard or read.

I hate the cold. I did not mind winter too much while I was living in Minnesota but now that I am here and the coldest it has gotten is mid 50 F (10 C) at night, I like not freezing. I like not having to bundle the kids and start the car ten minutes before going out. I do not miss digging my car out of a snow bank or driving on glare ice. I still miss the warm winter days after a fresh snowfall when the air is crisp but the sun is warm or watching the snowfall from the comfort of my couch with a warm blanket and a good book, taking comfort in the knowledge that I do not have anywhere to go the next day. But, then I see news about a “polar vortex” and I am glad to be warm.

I am sure there are a lot more ways in which I have changed and I will continue to change the longer I live here and the more I experience. I hope that the changes will be good and make me a better wife, mother, daughter, and person.